Where Has God Placed Me?
SPIRITUAL FAMILY
By Jeff Little from “The Way to Win” Chapter 11
God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the
prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a
sun-scorched land.
Psalm 68:6
But in fact God has placed the parts in the body,
every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.
1 Corinthians 12:18
You're on a journey with God. You're developing your spiritual foundations. You have a variety of different options on how to proceed. Here are a few (but not all) of the options available to you:
A. You can make it up as you go along based on what feels right to you.
B. You can hop around to different groups, friends, and churches until you find the perfect place that meets all your needs.
C. You can put it off until later.
D. You can commit to where God has placed you.
Option A is a really popular choice, but in the end it doesn't work because it ultimately sets you up as God.
Option B is more difficult than it seems: Find a church where you like the preaching, you like the music, the location is convenient, the parking is plentiful the people are friendly, the coffee is good, the bathrooms are clean with no lines, and there are plenty of programs and opportunities far you to pursue your interests and use your gifts.
The moment your church fails to provide this, you start looking for a new place that better meets your needs and the process repeats itself over and over again.
The overwhelming majority of people I've met in this group (including the ones who "church shop" with us), end up spending more time searching than growing in their relationship with God.
Option C gets a lot of interest too, but Jesus said, in Matthew 7:26-27, that if we hear His words but don't actually put them into practice, we're like a man who builds his house on the sand. When the inevitable rain falls and the wind blows, our house comes crashing down.
The problem with options A, B, and C is that we separate ourselves as the decision maker. The Bible is not unclear in detailing the problems with this strategy.
Proverbs 18:1 warns us, "He who separates himself seeks his own desire; he quarrels against all sound wisdom" (NASB). In case you' re wondering, in the original Hebrew, the word "all" means "all.' In other words, every piece of dependable, logical proven, trustworthy wisdom shouts to us, "Don't do it!"
The ESV translates the second half of the verse, "he breaks out against all sound judgment." If sound judgment is like a protective wall keeping the good parts of our decision-making in and the bad parts out, then separating ourselves from the source of wisdom is like taking a jackhammer and breaking down the very thing protecting us from danger.
A common mistake people often make early in their spiritual development is to think, It’s me and Jesus. Thats what really matters.
In our radically individualistic, consumer-driven culture, it's easy to view this as a freedom that will make our lives better. But it's not true.
Jesus said that starting a genuine relationship with Him was like being born again. No one leaves a baby on their own-it's cared for and grows in the context of a loving family.
Let's look at the two verses at the start of this chapter. I want to invite you to consider God's wisdom in Psalm 68:6 and 1 Corinthians 12:18 as I encourage you to choose option D.
WHEN YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST, WHEN YOU'RE ADOPTED INTO THE KINGDOM OF GOD, HE SETS YOU IN HIS FAMILY.
I realize that many of us have had incredibly painful challenges with our natural families, so it's hard for us to accept, but spiritual family is absolutely one of the most significant blessings God gives us.
God loved you while you were disobedient to Him. He cared for you while you were His enemy. He loves you enough to have sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross to bring you home. Then after all that, why wouldn't He have a place prepared just for you?
God knows the details of your life. He has a place designed for you to grow, and because God builds according to the pattern of family, that place is a church home.
You don't have to live this way. You can rebel against the place He sets you—but you will end up feeling dry, in a sun-scorched land.
This image is in stark contrast with Psalm 92: 12-15, which promises that the righteous will flourish like a palm tree or a cedar of Lebanon because they're planted in the house of the Lord.
THIS IS SPIRITUAL FAMILY—IT'S A COMMITMENT TO THE DIVINE RELATIONSHIPS GOD PLACES IN YOUR LIFE.
Spiritual family is God's idea.
It's not a style of church. It's more than friendly people who are excited about their church. It's a revelation, a conviction, a biblical pattern of the way God builds.
When we look at a landscape of Scripture, God always starts with a family. Family expresses His character, His nature, and the way He builds.
First and foremost, Adam and Eve were children of God. Because of the centrality of the family to God's overall design, the enemy always makes the family his first target. He concentrates his attacks and his forces to destroy families.
Within a few generations, humanity goes so far off the rails God uses the Flood to press the reset button. How does He start over? With Noah and his family.
When humanity once again loses their way at the Tower of Babel, how does God respond? He comes to a childless man named Abram and promises to be his God and to give him children as numerous as the stars or the sand, Abram becomes Abraham, and at the ripe age of 100, his son Isaac is born.
This pattern holds true with natural family, but it doesn't stop there. As the biblical narrative continues, God joins people from different families, from different backgrounds, and from different nations and gods and cultures together in divine, covenantal relationships.
The book of Ruth is this amazing story of how a family flees Israel in search of food and ends up in the land of Moab. The dad and the two sons die, leaving Naomi, the Israelite widow, with two Moabite daughters-in-law. The first one makes the rational decision to go back to her family.
But the other one does something remarkable. Ruth clings to Naomi. Naomi tries to send her back, but Ruth says, "Don't urge me to leave you or too turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and you're God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me”
This is more than needing a friend or feeling lonely. This is not a transactional relationship. Naomi was convinced she was going to starve and die. Ruth is using covenantal language out of a conviction from God.
God saves Ruth and Naomi. They make it back to Israel, find food, and connect with a man named Boaz. He happens to be the son of a prostitute God spared from Jericho. Against all odds, Boaz and Ruth end up getting married. Within a few generations, they have a great-grandson who the Bible describes as a man after God's own heart.
His name is David and he becomes a king.
Before he becomes a king, David is forgotten by his father and mistreated by his brothers. He saves his people by defeating a giant as a young boy. This makes the current king ( an insecure guy named Saul) really angry. He tries to kill David.
But David finds help from the least likely candidate. Saul's son Jonathan is the rightful heir to his throne, but he loves and trusts God. Because of this, he has the same conviction Ruth had with Naomi. He makes a covenant with David because he believes David is spiritual family. His own dad mocks him because of the loyalty of his relationship with David, but he won't change his mind.
Hundreds of years later, God moves through a prophet named Elijah. He spends most of his life and ministry alone, until God brings a covenant relationship into his life through the form of his protege Elisha.
These relationships bring great personal fulfillment, advance the cause of Christ, and change the history of the world. But they're also costly and inconvenient. They require a much greater investment.
This pattern is repeated over and over and perhaps is best demonstrated through Jesus and His disciples. Jesus loved and served His natural family (His mom, Mary, His younger brother James, and His cousin John the Baptist were all leaders in the earliest days of the Christian faith), but He believed His brothers and sisters included those who did the will of God.
On the night He would be betrayed, beaten, and crucified, Jesus explained what divine relationships look like. He told His disciples they didn't choose Him, but He chose them. He told them He loved them the way the Father loved Him. He called them His friends and told them there's no greater love than to lay down your life for your friends.
This is covenant language. This is how God joins us with Him. This is spiritual family.
Because the disciples understood the importance of this pattern and had experienced it themselves straight from Jesus, this is how they built. When Peter preaches the first message, the church grows from 120 to more than 3,000. What did they do?
READ ACTS 2:42-47 AND ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS FROM THE PASSAGE:
1. What were the four things the first followers of Jesus devoted themselves to?
2. Were they filled with information and knowledge or a sense of awe?
3. Were they selfish and focused on their own needs?
4. How does verse 46 describe their hearts?
5. Did other people want to join them? Who added to them? How were they added?
This church wasn't perfect—God made significant changes to the way they did ministry all throughout the book of Acts.
But the one thing they got right from the very beginning was the idea of spiritual family. They genuinely believed God had joined them together in His family. Verse 46 talks about their glad and sincere hearts. This was not a bunch of fake church people acting happy. These were not
people without problems, but this was an atmosphere where they were enjoying every day they spent with God and each other.
They didn't come up with this on their own-they simply repeated what they had learned from Jesus.
When Jesus was on the cross, He looked at His mom and then He looked at one of His closest disciples,John. He told John to rake care of her as if she were his own mother. Jesus had younger brothers, but He knew what His mom and John were about to face and that they were going to need the comfort and encouragement only spiritual family could provide.”
The church was creating a big stir and the Jewish leaders and elders called them in to investigate what was going on. Acts 4:13 tells us that these highly educated religious leaders were astonished because Peter and John were ordinary and unschooled, but everyone knew they had been with Jesus.
This approach continued to spread. It became normal in the early church for Christians to call each other brothers and sisters. Family language was everywhere. The apostle Paul called his disciple Timothy his beloved son in the faith.
You might be thinking, Okay, I get it. Church people are supposed to be nice to each other and use family language. It's deeper than that. I want to make it as practical as I can.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A PART OF SPIRITUAL FAMILY?
YOU BELIEVE GOD PLACED YOU IN THE FAMILY.
This may seem strange, but we don't choose our natural family either. It's a divine joining, not a disposable or transactional relationship. How you treat your spiritual family is a direct reflection of how you treat God.
This is why conviction is such a big part. This is not a top-down heavy manipulation or control. When kids grow up and become adults, they get to decide how much time they want to spend with their natural family. The motivating factors are love and commitment. The same is
true in a church.
If you don't have a clear sense God placed you in your church, then you need to find out why. You're going to have a hard time benefittingfrom spiritual family if you're constantly wavering over whether or not you believe you' re where God set you.
2. YOU DISCOVER AND DEVELOP YOUR GIFTS IN THE CONTEXT OF FAMILY.
Family is the most natural environment for growth and development. That's what families do. In a family, people find interests, receive feedback and coaching, provide support and opportunities, and discover talents and abilities. The process takes time and patience, but it also requires close proximity and honest relationships.
3. YOU USE YOUR GIFTS TO SERVE THE FAMILY.
In a healthy family, no one sits back and watches. You jump in and offer your part. You're in the game. You're part of the team. You can't do everything, bur you're grateful to contribute whatever you can because you believe that when any part of the family wins, every part of the family celebrates.
4. YOU PUT THE NEEDS AND THE GOALS OF THE FAMILY AHEAD OF YOUR OWN.
This sounds like a guaranteed way to get less, but the truth is, our greatest fulfillment in life is found in helping someone else to win. Jesus said that the greatest is the servant, that it's better to give than to receive; and His disciple John said that there's no greater joy than watching your children walk in the truth. John was writing to a church when he said it because he was talking about spiritual family.
Discussion Questions
l. What happens to us when we give our lives to Christ?
2. What is spiritual family? Whose idea is it?
3. Have you ever experienced spiritual family? If not, would you like to? What has held you back from it?